I’m dreaming of a time when we had it all. A career set before me, plenty of work, and an abundance of money. This was my Egypt. In reality, we didn’t have it all. I know that. My mental space was crowded and overwhelmed. I was trying to work a full-time stay-at-home job while at home with my four small children. I thought that I was working my dream job. After all, I had the professional career that I had worked for. The job I had spent time and money getting a degree for. Yet after having children, I also had dreams of a humbler variety: to be a stay-at-home momma to my sweet babies. I wanted to watch them grow up. Sure, we had plenty of money to buy all of the fun things, eat out, and go to movies, but during the day I didn’t have time for my kids or much help with them. I am so thankful that I could do both jobs for so long, but I was starting to wear thin. People said I was “supermom” but underneath looking like I had it all together I was on the brink of a breakdown.
God took me out of my Egypt. He moved in ways we didn’t expect, he showed up in our finances, our families, and our lives. He provided when there was no way we could do it on our own. I’m here, in a land flowing with kids and laughter. God’s goodness and blessings surround me.
Yet I catch myself looking back at my Egypt. Oh, for the time we had an abundance of money, food, clothing, etc. It looks like we had it all. As I look back, I forget the mental hardships, the bondage, the stolen time. The past screams that we had it better, “Don’t you remember when you had delicious food from fancy restaurants, new clothes, and all the nice things?” But the Bible reminds me that it is not wise to remember the “good ol’ days”. (Ecclesiastes 7:10-20) We are so much better here in our promised land. God provided then, he is providing now, and He will continue to provide.
I may not see how or when we will have all the money to pay our bills. I look at our budget and I see a struggle ahead. We might have to cut back, we might have to meal plan, we might have to work in other areas to make it. But I know that my God always provides a way. He provided in our desert. He provided in our wandering. He will continue to help us through.
Egypt
In our wandering,
Lord, you are there.
We lift our voice and sing,
Lord, you hear our prayer.
You are our Provider,
Our Hope, our Help in trouble.
Through our Egypt,
through our desert,
Walking with us daily,
Through trials and hurt.
You are our God.
Our God then, and God still now.
Make our paths straight,
Our minds kept on you.
Walk us through the darkness,
Refresh and renew.
You are our Joy,
Our Peace, our Light in the Dark.
Laughter and tears,
Children of grace.
Walk us through years,
‘til we see your face.
You are our Savior,
Our Refuge and Strength.