Have you ever felt trapped in a cycle of endless worries, struggling with issues that seem impossible to resolve? You’re not alone. I am a dweller. And I don’t just mean I spend time at home. Sure, I dwell in my house, but more importantly, I dwell in my mind. I often find myself stuck there, mentally wrestling, worrying, and fixating on problems I can’t seem to solve.
Sometimes my mind is so distressed and overwhelmed by situations out of my control that it makes me unable to focus. High anxiety causes my heart to race, and my head feels like it’s on fire. My brain goes into survival mode and feels like a ball bouncing back and forth between thoughts. That’s not where I want to dwell.
I don’t want to live here on this earth forever. I long to dwell in the house of the Lord. I want to focus on Him and let my thoughts be centered on the things of heaven, not just the troubles of this world. Why do we have to wrestle with the hard things? The sin and shame of this earth can eat us alive.
One thing I ask from the LORD, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple. Psalm 27:4 (NIV)
God is a comforter, and He always fulfills His promises. But sometimes, it feels like comfort is out of reach. We struggle with life’s challenges. We experience grief, hardships, anxieties, anger, frustration, joy, sadness… all the emotions from Pixar’s Inside Out movie are fighting inside our brains.
For me, writing is how I wrestle with these issues. I have to struggle and fight to keep joy and thankfulness at the forefront of my mind.
Wrestle: verb(Source: Merriam-Webster.com, “wrestle”)
- To contend by grappling with and striving to trip or throw an opponent down or off balance
- To combat an opposing tendency or force | wrestling with his conscience
- To engage in deep thought, consideration, or debate
- To engage in or as if in a violent or determined struggle
There’s an intriguing story about Jacob in the Bible. Jacob was facing one of the most stressful periods of his life. He had just fled from his father-in-law Laban’s house, where he had been overworked, stolen from, lied to, and cheated for 14 years. Desperate for freedom, Jacob packed up and left. But Laban, angered by Jacob’s departure, chased him down. Laban might have attacked Jacob and forced him to return, but God intervened. He warned Laban in a dream to leave Jacob alone, leading to a peace treaty before Laban went home.
Now Jacob found himself with all his bridges burned behind him. There was no going back to work for Laban. Yet, he faced another set of burnt bridges ahead. His brother, who had a deep-seated grudge and wanted to kill him, awaited him. Returning home meant facing his past and seeking forgiveness from his brother. Jacob was caught between a rock and a hard place, praying that he could repair the relationship with Esau and return home.
To soften his brother’s attitude, Jacob sent ahead the best of his possessions as gifts. He hoped to buy favor and forgiveness. He fearfully faced this daunting journey ahead of him with faith in God.
Here’s where it gets interesting. After sending everything ahead, Jacob was left alone, forced to confront his thoughts, worries, fears, and anxieties. In this solitude, a mysterious man appeared and began wrestling with him. Jacob didn’t realize he was wrestling with God, but he refused to let go. He wrestled until daybreak, determined to hold on until he received a blessing. He sought more of what God had to offer.
In the womb he grasped his brother’s heel;as a man he struggled with God.He struggled with the angel and overcame him; he wept and begged for his favor. He found him at Bethel and talked with him there—the Lord God Almighty, the Lord is his name! But you must return to your God; maintain love and justice, and wait for your God always.Hosea 12:3-6 (NIV)
When I’m alone, everything becomes quiet, and it’s just me and God. Well, that’s when things get real. That’s when the battle begins. It’s when we either win or lose the fight within ourselves. It’s the moment to wrestle things out with God and surrender all our worries and anxieties to Him.
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.1 Peter 5:6-7 (NIV)
Wrestling is necessary and important, but worrying is not. God desires us to hold on tightly to our relationship with Him. We need to wrestle to live righteous lives, letting go of our ego and pride. It’s difficult to relinquish control and fully trust God, especially when we’ve experienced repeated human failures. Yet, we must hold on to God and never let go. That’s how we overcome our battles.
Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.” But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” The man asked him, “What is your name?” “Jacob,” he answered. Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”Genesis 32:26-28 (NIV)
Like Jacob, I’ve faced moments where I felt I was wrestling alone in the quiet of the night, unsure of how to move forward. God desires a deep relationship with us. This means being willing to engage in honest, raw conversations and wrestle with the hurts and fears in our lives. We need to trust Him and hold on to His blessings. With Him by our side, we can overcome the challenges of this life.
Reflective Questions:
- What are the “wrestling matches” you face in your own life?
- How can you apply Jacob’s story to your current struggles?
- What practical steps can you take to invite God into your battles
Take a few minutes today to write down the struggles you’re wrestling with. Pray and invite God into these battles. Seek His guidance and share your journey with someone who can support you.